Casual Sex Partners Around
Existence Of "Manwhores"
Is it an inborn trait from the days of cavemen that men "sow their wild oats, " so to speak, or is it an incorrect, but accepted, social imitation? Why is it allowable then, that men can bed any woman within their own capable limits, and be seen as "manly men, " while women who have more than one partner in their lives are viewed with contempt and seen as tainted, dirty, or "ruined?" The male body is no less marked by STD's than the female, and the same woman, seen as tainted, bedded a man who should be viewed as no less tainted then for bedding her. Normal logic, unfortunately, does not seem to rule this matter for the simple fact that since the beginning of time, men and women have had different social and relational status with each other-men being seen as higher or more virtuous, while women were seen as lower in cognitive abilities, worth, and moral standing. And even though we have come to realize the folly of some of these beliefs, the underlying, unconscious cannon of these teachings still beats deep down below society's new "civilized" and "equalized" ways.
The act of men bedding multiple women in their lifetimes seems to me to be another type of conquest; just another way a man can be better or have more "notches" on his belt. It's easy to see that this male conquest simultaneously demoralizes the woman, reducing her to a trophy, an object like the views of long ago. Shamefully, the women accept this as the natural way of things; yes, men may be more tempted to have a wandering eye because of their gender and "need" to procreate, but that should not be an excuse for the outright completion of the act.
Leaving the subject of sociality and biology, what if we considered religion, which for me is Christianity. I've come to believe that intercourse with another person is more than just a formality or a form of entertainment. In my own view of what the Bible says on the matter, I see that Sex is viewed as, of course, a thing to be done between married people, and that Sex outside of marriage is deplorable and riddled with consequences, difficulties, and sorrows that God would have us not go through. But if we talked just about sex itself, whether in marriage or not-to be perfectly unbiased-I have come to believe that through intercourse you consummate a bond between you and that other person, forever tying a part of yourself to them. You will never get that part of yourself back. And, of course, the more partners you have the more of yourself you lose, one bit at a time, until you are left with a shallow, rotten core that is scarred and bruised. Why then, do men subject themselves to this shallow-ing and ruining of themselves? Why then, do men lower them to this state in which a person-another living, breathing, person-has become an object in their eyes, pushing his caring feelings for others away, for the temporary gifts of momentary satisfaction and the praise of his peers? Of course, if a woman is in a serious relationship with a man that has done this, sadly, she can never have the whole of him devoted to her because those parts of himself are given to the other women; those are parts of him which he does not even own himself. The other women will forever have those parts of him, and he will have those parts of them (this stands also for a man who is in a relationship with a many-partnered woman).
I, personally, do not believe that men are of lesser emotional states than women or that it is natural for them to have no deep feeling regarding women or the act of love-making. I merely believe that most men repress this; I call this the "macho" concept. This also stems back to the belief that men are superior to women from long ago. In those times, women were seen as having excessive emotion or hysterics, but considering education, a listening ear, and an understanding mind were rarely offered to them back then, they hardly had any other recourse. But it was fairly common to see things such as emotional expression, except in appropriate, "masculine" ways-fighting, art, music, games, drinking, and academics-as a completely feminine trait, and an undesirable one at that, to be avoided always. However, I will admit that men do lean toward having less emotion and more "hard-facts" logic than women (with exceptions), but that doesn't mean the man has to have the emotional capacity of a Greek statue. However, the "statue" emotional state is exactly what men (and women) exhibit when they engage in casual sex and begin to view the other as an object, trophy, or otherwise. Thus, his (for the opposite is true of women) peers see this as admirable and praise him for his "manliness, " and so continue the cycle by exhibiting this praise for this behavior to a younger generation that looks up to them.
To give men, in general, credit where it is due, there are men who do not fall into this category, but in my experience they are few and far between. Sadly, man has ever held this "macho" view and been more lenient-lest he fall into punishment himself-to the follies of the male gender, but ever strict on the less oppositional females.
But there is a care for others in humans, whether male or female, that exists, I know it does, and there is a moral fiber running through us all that is also indiscriminate of gender. I have friends-male friends-that admit to me after having lived in this way for a while that they wish they could just erase it all and have a clean slate, but, of course, they will never get those little bits of their selves back. They confide in me (probably since I'm not a man) that while they were out treating women like trophies and objects of conquest, what they really wish they had was a meaningful, real relationship. It is possible to withdraw from that kind of life, but it will always influence the kind of people that will form a relationship with you in the future. Someone who has lived differently and wisely will not find it appealing if they learn how the other once acted, and will always be tainted by the thought that the person could revert back to the way he or she was.
In closing, I just want to say that what is generally accepted is not always what is right, just like "Oh, I'm a guy, " is not a legitimate excuse to sleep around, cheat on your girlfriend or your wife, and plunge yourself into an act that you will later regret and find not worth while in the end. The act of bringing morality back to the common male has to be a radical, conscious decision, and may involve having to endure the ridicule of peers that are still under the influence of the social "macho/manly" concept, but it can be done. And you, whether male or female, can choose to change your self and your views about casual sex to better yourself, your partner, and your future.By Alethia Morgan - I'm a writer striving to become a published author. I've written about almost everything I've come across, but my passion is Fiction writing and especially Fantasy and Magical Realism. I look up to authors s...
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