Dating For Sex
Tips For Moms On How To Talk To Their Sons About Dating And Sex
It is never easy as a parent to admit that your child is growing up. For some of us its a reality that we don't want to face. We would like nothing more then for our children to remain young so we can always protect them. This is especially true for mothers with sons. Mom's never want their little boys to grow up. Unfortunately, the day eventually comes when you must realize that your son is going to date girls and that its time to speak to them about their interest in the opposite Sex.
Hopefully throughout your years of child raising you have been open and honest with your son which has enabled you to establish a close bond with each other. This bond is based on trust and respect. Normally it is best to deal with questions as they arise throughout the years and it is best to always address those questions that a child has with as much honesty as you can. This means that you will not be being graphic with your child but you will honestly answer their questions in a child's terminology. This honesty will have gained your respect in your child's eyes. They will automatically know from the start that they can turn to you with any problem, question, or concern that they might have and that you will not ridicule or make fun of them but you will try your best to provide them with an honest answer that they can depend on.
If you have maintained this attitude with your son since he was a little boy then any discussions that you will have with him about Dating, girls, and Sex will be far easier because the bond between the two of you already exists and is well established.
When your son is ready for that first date it is time to sit him down and talk about a few things. Most of this will just be rehashing the morales and ideals that you have instilled in him from birth. But it is still very important to address these issues and make sure they are well understood . It is also important to let him know that he can feel free to ask you anything that might be on his mind before that big first date.
Here are five topics you should bring up with your son.
Hopefully you have already taught your son to respect himself and all others. Nothing is more important then respect. Self respect will enable your son to make the right choices that he might be faced with on a date with the opposite Sex. So many people see the male as being the aggressor but many teenage girls are very straightforward and aggressive. So it is important that you re instill the need for self respect and boundaries. Your son should never feel cornered into doing anything that he does not want too. And he should never feel that he needs to please another at the expense of his own sense of security.
By the same token he needs to always show respect for his date and honor her wishes and feelings too. He needs to never do anything to make her feel uncomfortable and he needs to always listen to how she truly feels.
2) Peer Pressure
Every parent tries to teach their child to be an independent and stand on their own two feet. We want our children to withstand peer pressure and never cave. We want them to never throw away their ideals and morales because of what classmates or friends are doing.
Before your sons first date this is a good time to go over peer pressure again. Let him know that he should never do anything that makes him feel uncomfortable simply because he is worried about what his friends would say if they found out. Let him know that it does not matter what any of his friends or peers think. It only matters what he thinks and feels. His morals are what will withstand the test of time. This is ultimately what will enable him to say no to drugs at a party or to casual sex.
3) Being A Gentleman
I know that in this century so many men are far from gentleman. But as a mother we try to make our sons little gentleman. Right before that first date its important to remind your son to take a few minutes to be extra nice to his date. Take the extra time to open her door, pull out her seat, and let her know that chivalry is not dead. This will help your son to also feel more at ease with his first date.
4) Your Belief System
We all know the look we get from our children when we bring up waiting for Sex with the 'right one' or our moral and religious beliefs. Children tend to not want to talk to their parents over and over again about these topics. But when your son is Dating for the very first time its also a time to go over your belief system once again. Let him know where you stand on topics like premarital Sex, drugs, and other dangers that the real world holds. Yes, your son will probably be uncomfortable and tell you that you have told him all of this before. But it never hurts to casually go over it again. Just let him know how you feel and exactly why you feel the way you do. Let him know that every belief you have is in his best interest and that its to ultimately to protect him in the long run.
5) Love and Support
The last thing that you can tell your son before he heads out on that first scary date is that you love and support him. Let me know that you will always be there for him. Let him know that he can talk to you about anything and everything. Always let him know that you will not judge him or criticize him.
The ultimate thing that you can end your discussion with is the fact that you love him now and always. This will instill confidence in him and it will be the most powerful tool that he will ever have to face what the world will hand him. Its important that your child always feel confident and knows that no matter what you love him and nothing can ever change that.By Kimberly Sharpe - Based in Oregon, Kimberly Sharpe has written for numerous online publications such as USA Today, Hotels.com, Trails.com, GardenGuides, Local.com, Whitefence.com, Ehow Home and Garden and Livestrong.
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