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A Funny Collection Of Red Head Jokes
The canons of humor are filled with blonde tales. There is a large body of humor devoted to redheads also. Whereas blondes are characterized as dumb redheads are noted for their hot temper and bit of a mean streak. I've been collecting jokes and humor for every thirty years and here is a small collection of red head jokes I hope you will enjoy.
Three nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for. Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done to the doctor. The blonde nurse said, "I put cotton in his stethoscope so he couldn't hear. The brunette nurse said, "Well, I did worse than that. I poked holes in all his condoms. The red headed nurse fainted.
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at a craps table. A very attractive redhead comes in and wants to bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm bottomless." With that she strips naked from the waist down, and rolls the dice while yelling, "Momma needs a new pair of pants!" She then begins jumping up and down and hugging each of the dealers. "I win! I win!" With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves. The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded. finally one of them asks, "What did she roll anyway?" The other answers, "I thought you were watching!"
A redhead called the police department and reported that she had been assaulted. The officer who answered the phone, asked, "When did this happen?" She replied, "Last week." The police then asked, "Why did you wait until now to report it?" "Well, " she said. "I didn't know that I was assaulted until the check bounced."
A guy with a hot redheaded wife was talking to his Buddy at the bar, and he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday - she has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stumped." His Buddy said, "I have an idea - why don't you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great Sex, any way she wants it - she'll probably be thrilled." So the that's what the husband did. The next day at the bar his buddy said, "Well? Did you take my suggestion?" "Yes, I did, " said the husband. "Did she like it?" His buddy asked. "Oh yes! she jumped up , thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door, yelling "I'll be back in an hour!!"
The Devil walks into a crowded bar. Within seconds the bar emptied with people running out screaming all over the place, all except for one older red headed lady leaning over the bar. The Devil wanders across to the redheaded woman and says "Do you know how I am?" The woman takes a sip of his beer and answered "Yep" The Devil stared at the redhead and asked "Well aren't you afraid of me?" The she looks the Devil up and down for a minute and shrugs "I married your brother 25 years ago, why the hell should I be scared of you?"
Redheads are like a well trained dog. Make a move and they rollover and play dead.
How do you know there's if a guy has a red headed secretary? He's always smiling.
1st guy: "I'm a man of few words." 2nd guy: "I' married a redhead too."
A doctor. had been married to a redhead for ten years. One day he told he told her: "You need to do something to spice up our love-making". Shortly thereafter, he came home and found her in bed with another man who is also an M.D. "Why?" asked her hubby. "You said I needed to do something to spice up our love-making; I just wanted to get a second opinion", she told him.
As a new bride, a redhead, moved into the small home on her husband's ranch. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and asked her husband never to touch it. For fifty years her husband left the box alone until the redhead was old and dying. One day when he was putting their affairs in order, he found the box again and thought it might hold something important. Opening it, he found two doilies and $82, 500 in cash. He took the box to his wife and asked about the contents. "My mother gave me that box the day we married, " she explained. "She told me never to staart a fight or let my red headed temper get the better of me. She said to make a doily to help ease my frustrations every time I got mad at you." The husband was very touched that in 50 years she'd only been mad at him twice. "What's the $82, 500 for?" he asked. "Oh, that's the money I made selling the rest of the doilies."
A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 and the bride was A torrid redheaded gold digger of 23. The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him, because his bride was a healthy, vivacious young woman. But lo and behold, the next morning, the redhead came down the main staircase slowly, step by step, hanging onto the banister for dear life. She finally managed to get to the counter of the little shop in the hotel. The clerk looked really concerned, "Whatever happened to you, honey? You look like you've been wrestling an alligator!" The bride groaned, hung on to the counter and managed to speak, "Ohhh God! He told me he'd been saving up for 75 years, and I thought he meant his money!!"
A redheaded wife found out that her husband a military man, was cheating on her while stationed in Germany a few months ago. So she sends him this care package. He is excited to get a package from his wife back home. He finds that it contains a batch of home made cookies and a VHS tape of his favorite TV shows. He invites a couple of his buddies over and they're all sitting around having a great time eating the cookies and watching some episodes of South Park. Right in the middle of one episode the tape cuts to a home video of his wife on her knees sucking his best friend's cock. After a few seconds, he blows his load in her pie hole and she turns and spits the load right into the mixing bowl of cookie dough. She then looks at the camera and says, "By the way, I want a divorce."
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are at the doctors office. The blonde one goes in to see the doctor. When the doctor goes to examine her he notices a big Y on her chest. The doctor asks, " Why do you have a big Y on your chest?" She replies, " Well, my boyfriend went to Yale and when we make love he likes to wear his college sweater." The doctor nods and continues on with the brunette patient. When he examines her he notices a big H on her chest. Again, the doctor asks, " How did you get a big H on your chest?" The brunette replies " My husband went to Harvard and when we make love he likes to wear his college sweater." The doctors just nods his head and continues on with the redhead. As he examines her he notices once again that this woman also has a letter on her chest. A large M. He says, " Don't tell me, your boyfriend went to Michigan?" " No" replies the redhead " But my girlfriend went to Wisconsin"
It's easy to get the ride of your life. First, seduce a redhead Mount her from behind, start going nice and slowly, take her hair and pull her head back slightly and whisper in her ear "Your sister was better than you...", and try to hold on for 8 seconds!By james buffington - Jim has authored "Politically Incorrect Liberal Obama Jokes" and 8 other books. He runs the website www.politicsisfun.com. Jim lives in NE Ohio with his wife and 2 sons. They serve the whims of 2 cats, Calli...
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