Adult Dating Women West
"It's A Spring Thang.'"
"I read that Asian women were bedroom generals. Some people think that means great in bed; but that's not the issue. They're talking about a place where the man is at his most vulnerable, where they have the most control. "
THE TWAIN HAS MET
The Spring-Summer months are a time for baseball, long walks, boat rides, picnics, and romance. Rudyard Kipling the celebrated late 19 th early 20 th century British author-poet's epic poem 'The Ballad of East and West' still rings true though its impact has lessened considerably. When it comes to love matches between Orientals and Occidentals the man was half right. With the advent of global communications, information technologies, and increased travel, the twain has indeed met.
In 1959 I saw Nancy Kwan and William Holden in the film classic 'The World of Suzie Wong.' That movie really hooked me. It aroused feelings I never knew I had. It was like lighting striking a tree! Immediately I was in love with all things Asian especially the women. I was an 8 th grader yet in love with the Orient. I am a native San Franciscan a city with a very large Asian minority; that fact may have influenced me to a certain extent.
AN ASIAN FETISH
A lot of things, some nasty others nice have been said about Asian-Western love matches. According to Wikipedia, ' Asian fetish is a slang term which usually refers to an interest, attraction or preference for people, culture, or things of Asian origin by those of non-Asian descent. The term Asiaphile is sometimes used to describe the same phenomenon as yellow fever' a derogatory term akin to equally racist 'Jungle Fever' that refers to romantic attachments between blacks and whites . Other slang names for a preference for Asian sexual partners include -- 'rice kings', 'rice chasers, ' and 'rice lovers' for the men who espouse it.
"The gay slang term used for a man, usually white, who exclusively dates Asian men is 'rice queen .' In the afterword to the 1988 play M. Butterfly , the writer David Henry Hwang use the term 'yellow fever, ' a pun on the disease of the same name , discusses white men with a fetish for Asian women. Hwang argues that this phenomenon is caused by stereotyping of Asians in Western society ." The above racist examples are how the unintelligent view mixed Asian-Western romantic attachments. This writer can't understand all the societal negativism over people dating/marrying people of different races. You love who you love.
When I taught junior high school I used to tell my students whenever the subject of interracial love arose, never let the exoticism of Dating people of different races is your sole criteria for wanting them. When lovers focus only the supposed sexual/other behavioral qualities of the 'opposite race, ' bad things happen. Sex based relationships regardless of race/ethnicity is doomed before they develop. Logic tells us to love a person for whom they are not solely how they look or appeal to ones kinky desires.
According to the April 2011 edition of National Geographic Magazine's mixed marriage statistical chart based on 2008 figures, 1 in 60 marriages in the United States are racially mixed. These marriages are on the rise with Whites married to Hispanics at the top end and Blacks married to Asians at the bottom in numerical terms of couples married.
For over 20 years I've been happily married to a wonderful lady from Quezon City , Philippines . Since this article is about racially/culturally mixed relationships/marriages, I've asked my wife if I could interview her. I've asked her to share some of her thoughts about her marriage to a non-Asian (multi-racial) man. Here's what she has to say:
"What are some of the difficulties you've encountered from family and friends regarding you marrying a non-Asian?"
"Actually I did not have any problems 'back home' [ Philippines ] more than I had in the United States . My friends thought our marriage would not work. They thought I would be taken advantage especially that you're not only non-Asian but also mixed. My closest friend gave us five years but on July 5 th we celebrated our 20 th wedding anniversary!"
"Did you find it hard adjusting culturally being married to a non-Asian; could you give some examples?"
"Culturally Asians are very family oriented. They keep their children close to them even if they are married. Parents and grandparents help their married children raise their children. If their grown children can't make it financially, emotionally, mentally, the parents will help shoulder their responsibilities though at the adult level it's more of an obligation."
"What are some of the positive aspects of being married to a Westerner?"
"It all depends on who you marry. Westerners, if they marry a person like me, won't have too make problems culturally. My husband is very independent. I don't have to serve him like some of those stereotypical spoiled docile Asian women would. My husband prepares his own meals, helps me with the chores around our house and runs his own errands. I don't have to worry so much if I have to leave for the Philippines for any length of time. He can manage quite well on his own without me. I feel he can handle any situation."
"What are some negative aspects of being married to a Westerner?"
"So far not many negatives in our marriage; people create their own negative situations in any relationship marriage or otherwise. But there are problems. I enjoy peace and quiet. He's so noisy!"
"Would you do it all over again if you had the chance? Why or why not?"
"I always think that God gives us many chances to make it through life. We have choices. People can choose to do right or wrong but despite our choices we will not have the same opportunities again. If your marriage is good you are blessed but you can always make it better."
Mixed race/cultural marriages can work. We are living proof of that. We're in our 60's and hope to have many more happy years together.
ONE RACE-ANSWER TO RACISM
Mixed race couples with children may be the only hope for putting the nails in the coffin of racism. The problem is that many if not most mixed race couples avoid having children. The excuse they give is: 'how will society accept our children?' The science of anthropology proved that we all descended from one couple; call them Adam and Eve if you like. An on line pastor-scientist said that 150 years from now we'll all be members of a single racial entity. When this happens hopefully the evil of race hate will be a relic of an unpleasant past.
*Article title from Spike Lee movie: 'Jungle Fever' staring Wesley SnipesBy Fred C. Wilson III - Fred C. Wilson III is 66 years old, a former State of Illinois highway designer-drafter, retired public school teacher of 32 years, retired income tax professional with H & R Block, ceramicist, artist, forme...
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