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Dating Tips For Men - How To Make Women Like You

Dear Men,

You may consider yourself a pro and are reading this just out of curiosity. Or you may wonder whether the writer has anything new or relevant to say. Or you may think that despite being a great dater, you could be better still. I am writing for you guys too!

Alternatively, you may be near despair and have quite an untrue opinion - that women are just very picky! Like men, some women are but most are not. It might be hard to stomach, but you may as well face it. If you have very negative views about women being very picky on dates, it is you who is likely doing something wrong. Actually, I was being a little too polite. If you find you have very negative views about women on dates, it is you who is almost definitely doing something wrong. I am most certainly writing with you guys in mind!

What are you doing wrong? Well, one of two things or two of two things.

Number 1) You are allowing one or two painful or unrewarding experiences to overly influence your perception of Dating. Being sensitive is great when it is directed towards being kind and having empathy towards other people. More on that later - you will soon see the unparalleled importance of feelings in the Dating context. However, when your sensitivity becomes focussed towards yourself, women will perceive you as pathetic or worst - egocentric, like you are so wrapped up with yourself that you haven't got the time or energy to notice anyone else. Not the best personality for a potential spouse!

Number 2) You have the wrong technique, or dare I say it, the wrong character. I know this hurts. Most people don't want to change themselves, it is just too much work. People therefore like techniques which can be learnt with practice but don't want to hear about change on any deep or fundamental level. However, if you want to really be successful when Dating women, you will have to face up to it. The good news is, that you don't have to change your whole personality in order to see a big improvement in your success rate. You will find many women generous enough to give you the benefit of the doubt if only you won't make it too difficult for them.

Let's explore the above two issues in more depth. But before we do that, I can hear you asking, who is this guy who thinks he knows so much about Dating. 'Rather presumptious bag of hot air' may well be the reaction of the more angry and frustrated amongst you. So, let's get past this in order that we can move on to what is really important - getting you lucky with women. I have spent my entire adult life becoming the kind of person that women like. If I really was a presumptious bag of hot air, they would avoid me like the plague - we all know about women's intuition. No, if I have adopted this writing style it is because I am trying to make my message as direct as possible. I want you, the reader, to consider for a moment why a woman should like you.

Here, I have made a list for you about why a woman should like you. Try and be very honest with yourself about the areas you may be weak in. Those are the ones you should really focus on and I'll show you how you should do so afterwards.

1) You are respectable, honorable, tactful, neat and tidy.

2) You are interesting to speak to, are funny, sensible, have a positive world view.

3) You are a good connector, you focus on the woman when she is speaking, you really listen to her when she is talking, you try and understand what the hidden messages are that she is transmitting.

4) You are kind, helpful, sensitive to other people's feelings, unselfish.

5) You are able to demonstrate positive emotion to your woman, compliment her, tell her why you like her, tell her how she is special to you, why you would like to date her again.

Now let's see how we can apply all these.

1) If you are very weak in this area then I would suggest you start with small things. Make sure that you come to the date well groomed and well dressed. Besides for the good impression you will make you are also showing respect to your date by doing this. You would be advised to ask some well-groomed friends what you can do to improve your appearance. Your mood during the date is very important. Be positive, about life in general. If you are negative, who's going to feel like buying into the idea of dating you. When was the last time that your department store piped funeral music into its store in order to encourage sales? Avoid gruffness as much as possible. You may voice displeasure in your conversations, but keep it light, very light. And never ever voice displeasure about anything that might be taken personally by your woman.

2) Try and become an informed person, especially on the subjects that appeal to your date. Show that you have some pro and con opinions and ideas about various issues connected with the subjects that she has an interest in. Try to always sound reasonable when stating your opinions and if you do not agree don't get upset, just make light of it. Do not express, extreme opinions. Better still, try to become the sort of person that has a sufficiently balanced world view that doesn't even allow for many extreme opinions.

3) If I had to pick one that was the most important, this is the one I would pick. Remember a date is not primarily an opportunity to show-case how smart, bright, gifted you are. Quite the opposite. It is an opportunity to let your woman shine. Make her a star, encourage her to express that special personality that is uniquely hers. Give her the confidence to do so by reacting really positively each time she opens up some more during the date. If you do that you will have her warmth and appreciation. You can't put a measure to a woman's positive emotional energy. It is huge, believe me. At that point, when she has begun to feel positive feelings towards you, she will be more than open to learning just how smart, bright, gifted you are and thus, you will have your turn to show-case yourself.

4) If you haven't crossed the road with a blind person / helped a senior citizen carry their shopping / volunteered to a not-for-profit organization or done any other altruistic act in near memory, you are likely going to struggle with this. Get into practice and it will soon become a natural part of who you are and your date will notice. During the course of the date you may well have the opportunity to interact with others in front of her. She will see the sensitivity with which you treat others. She probably won't say anything but she will notice and be impressed.

5) This takes not just a sweet personality but also confidence. More importantly it takes good timing. Hopefully by now you will be getting positive feed-back from your date and you'll be ready to take it to the next level. Feel your way here. The main thing to consider is not to be OTP - over the top. In general, it is fine if you act warmer towards her than she is acting towards you but avoid extremes. If she is still at the 'getting to know you' stage then it is a good idea to cool it a bit or else you run the risk of putting her under pressure when she can't respond to you in the same way you respond to her.

Begin by showing your positive feelings by smiling whenever she is cute or funny or says something intriguing or when you feel a wave of fondness. It is more important to project that you are capable of being a romantic. Exactly what you say is not as important. Women have a very sensitive emotional antenna and will have quite a good idea how you feel towards her if you don't manage to verbalize it fully.

Now is the time to try and make friends with positive, happy, glowing people. When you get to the point that you are able to glow on your date, your woman will feel it and take a glow to you too.

Good luck and let me know how you get on.

By Beachfront Frog - See my tombstone!  

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